Monthly Archives: April 2008

#11: Ryde or die chick

Ghetto people have mad respect for a chick that will do the damn thang by standing by her man through thick or thin. Ryde or Die Chicks will shank someone when it comes to their man, family, or crew. This special breed of ghetto women are fighters to the very end and will not give up on the ones they love even when society turned their backs.

Ryde or Die Chicks can be found at prisons on the weekend visiting their boo, bringing cigarettes, depositing money into the account, and brining Lil Man-Man to visit. These women will also hold down the household while their man in is incarcerated by getting their own hustle on. There are different degrees of hustling that these Ryde or Die Chicks will partake in. Some will resort to stripping and shaking their ass for dollars or taking over the drug trade to make sure their man’s operation continues to generate revenue and the rival drug lord does not take over the block.

Ryde or Die Chicks will also go down for their man and will not SNITCH even at the risk of her own freedom. There is a large prison population of Ryde or Die Chicks because they refused to sell out their companions. Don’t mistake their loyalty for weakness because a Ryde or Die Chick will also kill for the ones they love. While often times the Ryde or Die Chicks are used as the sacrificial lambs in many cases, they are proud of knowing that folks around the community depend on them.

#10: Rims

DSC00828“Come on man.. don’t buy drugs.. but some rims! They spinnin nigga they spinnin they spinnin nigga they spinniiiiiin!” -Chris Rock

Nothing excites a ghetto person more than sporting a set of custom made rims. Rims are supposed to be the outer part of a wheel that supports a tire. However, ghetto people take having rims to another level. Don’t be surprised if you go into a ghetto neighborhood and see rims made of pure gold with flashing Christmas lights.

If the ghetto person is hood rich, they will lease an Escalade and pimp their car out with a sound system and 22’ or 24’ chrome rims. These rims will have spinners and probably some bling on it to draw unnecessary attention to the driver. Ghetto men usually have rims and an Escalade to compensate for a small penis.

Another sad phenomenon is when expensive rims are sported on a piece of shit hooptie. The car is probably worth no more than 500 bucks, yet the rims come out to about $5k. Having rims is more important than the value of the car because it validates the ghetto person’s status in their prospective neighborhoods. Some ghetto folks are so desperate to have rims, that they will put them on layaway or rent them temporarily.

Rims are so popular they can even be found on bikes and used as ornaments to beautify the neighborhood. Nevertheless rims are a very important part of ghetto life. If one wants to get in good favor with a ghetto person buy them some rims and they will be your best friend.

#9: Hair weaves/extensions

hottie11Hair weaves are considered the Holy Grail in ghetto society. If hair weaves were to become extinct, everyone in the ghetto would combust into flames. Jokes aside, hair weaves are not exclusively used by Black women. Celebrities and plenty women of other races, especially white women, are sporting hair weaves/extensions these days. Just drive down Melrose or Rodeo Drive and you will see that half the women out there have hair they purchased from the beauty supply store. We’ve all seen Britney Spears’ hot ass mess of a weave in the last year. Jessica Simpson is another celebrity who is catching up on game and selling overpriced weaves to white girls everywhere.

There is nothing wrong with sporting hair weaves. However, hair weaves should be treated like any other beauty accessory. The key is not to get overzealous with hair weaves and sport a style that is appropriate for the occasion and compliments the individual. For example, Britney Spears needs a major intervention especially with her weave. It looks like she took some Barbie hair and Elmer’s Glue and had a field day. She has what I call dirty homeless hair. She probably stinks too but that’s another topic altogether.britney_badweave

Ghetto Black women need an intervention with their weaves as well. If your weave is considered a primary color, then there is a huge problem. Ghetto folks tend to get a little flamboyant with their weave styles. For example if your weave has helicopter propellers, glitter, or three different styles on one hairdo, the female in question needs to just start over or shoot herself in the head. Another issue is multiple textures. Ladies, do not sport Korean Silky hair and have Kunta Kinte edges. Nappy hair and silky weave do not go together, yet many ghetto chicks cannot seem to match the texture of their own hair and the weave. Last but not least, invest in quality hair. Do not pay 5 dollars for some plastic garbage and not expect folks to question your judgment. It breaks my heart when I see a woman sporting tightly coiled plastic weave and act like it is their own hair. No one will believe you are mixed with Indian with weave that looks like it should be used for cable wiring.

#8: Shacking up and Getting Knocked up

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Ghetto people love shacking up and getting knocked up. Why bother to get married when it’s much easier to hook up with Da’Quaylin or Jamarcus and produce Lil’ Ray-Ray? Marriage is a concept that is not very familiar to younger generations of ghetto people. Older folks respect the value of marriage and recognize that having a solid union contributes to uplifting communities, stabilizing of families, and better economic conditions in most cases.

 

Younger generations of ghetto folks have chosen to shack up and produce children out of wedlock out of ignorance and immaturity. This is called the baby momma/daddy syndrome.  Unfortunately there are a large percentage of single parent households within the Black community where oftentimes the woman is left to raise the child(ren) while the father is nowhere to be found. If the father is involved, in most cases he is not married to the mother. Sadly, there are cases where there are women with multiple children with different baby daddies. Shacking up is no longer a social taboo because many people are opting out of marriage. Everyday we see couples in the media and individuals of higher socio-economic levels shacking up with their mates. However they do not suffer the same economic consequences as ghetto people do.

 

Regardless of what the rest of society is doing, ghetto people fail to realize that there are social benefits to being married. Marriage is a union recognized by the law and affords those couples many rights and privileges not available to the rest of the population. In the event that one of the spouses passes away, the other person is entitled to a various benefits such as Social Security, Pension, etc. If there is a death and no will, the property and other assets automatically go to the spouse. In the event that a marriage is dissolved, the law takes several factors into consideration to determine if one of the spouses must continue to support the other, i.e. alimony, child support, medical expenses, and the division of property.

 

Let’s compare the situation with 50 cent baby momma and Heather Mills , the ex wife of the Beatle Paul McCartney. 50 cent baby momma was getting 25k per month in child support which is more than enough to sustain a luxurious lifestyle for herself and provide for the child. 50 cent was never married to this woman so he has no legal obligation except for the care of his child. When 50 cent received approximately 400 million dollars when Vitamin Water was brought out by Coca Cola, his baby momma showed her ugly gold digger ways and wanted an upwards of 50k per month in child support. 50 cent took his baby momma to court and the child support payments were reduced to 6k per month. Talk about irony. The latest news is that now 50 cent baby momma is being evicted from the home that was purchased by 50 cent. There is more to the dynamics of this story but stay with me.

 

Now let’s talk about Heather Mills for a moment. She was with the ex-Beatles legend Paul McCartney who has a net worth of approximately 1.2-1.6 billion dollars. Paul McCartney earned all of this wealth prior to marrying Heather Mills which logically means she would not be entitled to any of that money. However Paul was in love and he married the one-legged wonder without a prenuptial agreement. Fast forward three years later and Heather Mills receive a divorce settlement of 50 million dollars, property, and child support.

 

If Heather Mills was a baby momma would she have received such a large settlement for getting knocked up? Would the courts haven taken into consideration the lifestyle she had grown accustomed to by being married to Paul McCartney? Unfortunately for 50 cent baby momma, once her son turns 18 years old, the child support payments will stop. No court will take into consideration her wants or needs for a particular lifestyle like Heather Mills. Many a ghetto woman like 50 cent baby momma are only seen as breeders, females who got knocked up with no real commitment and procreating without a purpose.

 

While many Educated Black People legitimize their long term relationships with marriage, ghetto people continue to shack up and get knocked up with little regard to the socio-economic consequences for their decisions. While 50 cent baby momma is trying to figure out her next steps, Heather Mills has the luxury of deciding how she wants to spend her wine budget.