#12: Being Part Cherokee by Guest Author Leosha

6a00d834515db069e200e55035d0b28834-640wiWhen a ghetto person starts dating, there is one pivotal question that will make or break their chances of finding a suitor: What you mixed with? The answer to this life altering inquiry is important to both ghetto males and females. If Marquiana emerges from the pool looking like a black flame engulfed her head, or Le’Quan cannot get curls without a box of texturizer and some Soul Glo, the relationship will go downhill. This plagues ghetto people because they do not want their kids to look like extras from Roots.  (Or Celie from The Color Purple.)

That terrifying scenario is the principal reason why ghetto people love to announce to the world that they are part Cherokee.* Even if he or she has no knowledge of their genealogy, or is simply lying, claiming that their great great grandfather was Cherokee will make them appear more datable and exotic. Ghetto people love to feel exotic. Because many people have not even seen an actual Native American before, it is the most easy race to use. The perks are infinite. Suitors will flock and potential baby’s mothers/fathers can rest assured that their future children will probably be cute with “good hair.” Even the least attractive ghetto person can come at least 2 points closer to being a 10, if they say they are part Cherokee.

Another perk that comes along with mixedness? Once the entire hood has been informed, a part Cherokee ghetto person can partake in exclusive activities such as wearing a jet black, bone straight, waist length weave, or adopting a screen name like PokAho69 or mochaHontas10. These actions are only acceptable when a ghetto person says they are part Cherokee.

Although many people really do have a tenth of Cherokee in their blood**, ghetto people will go to great lengths to assert their mixedness. These include, but are not limited to: claiming the texture of their permed/texturized hair is natural, using profuse amounts of ProStyle to achieve the “wet & wavy” look, breaking out childhood photographs and exclaiming “See how long my hair was?”, and the most popular, “My hair fell out because I swam a lot/cut it/got braids.”

Do not assume that only black ghetto people participate in this phenomenon. Numerous other ethnic groups jump onto the bandwagon to appear more exotic as well. In every ghetto, at least 75% of all non-black ghetto people will list five responses i.e. Puerto Rican, Creole, Danish, Namibian, and Martian, to prove their mixedness to potential suitors. If you would like to befriend a ghetto person, start by asking what they are mixed with. They will shine with glee because they love to tell people that they are mixed with any and everything; however, claiming to be part Cherokee is by far the most popular.***

 
*Can be interchanged with any other Native American group
**The Cherokee tribe owned African slaves, just as Europeans did.
***Puerto Rican comes in at a close second

50 responses to “#12: Being Part Cherokee by Guest Author Leosha

  1. Absolutely hilarious. I am sick and tired of this shit. Blacks that know that they are not mixed with nothing but African claiming to be part Cherokee as if there is a prize that comes with it. Woopty fuckin doo. But on a serious note, my grandmother is Choctaw and when people lie about being mixed with Indian or anything for that matter, it offends the hell out of me. Why lie? If truth be told, there are very few Blacks who are actually mixed with Indian. Most Blacks are just mixed with White. I don’t even see what the big deal is with this phenonmenon anyways. As if it is a privilige to be mixed with Native American.

    • your grandmother is choctaw? is that pig?? well anyway i know voodoo and ill kill your pig grandmother. HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHH im come after your whol fucking pig family and KILLER CLOWN WILL SLICE YOUR PENIS OFF AND IF YOUR A GIRL…. hell STILL SLICE YOUR PENIS OFF!!! BITCH HAHAHAHAH

  2. Dude, whats with the picture of the White dude in makeup with the tear?

  3. mochaHontas10…… I fell out of my chair. hahhahahahahaa

  4. Thank you. I can’t stand when Black claim other shit. Imma do a post on this and refer back

    http://www.anythingblack.net

    • I CANT STAND WHEN A WHITE CRACKER CLAIM OTHER SHIT im killer clown and ill slice your head off im mixed and if u dont believe then go to fucking hell HAHHAHAHAHHA yeah your a g alright more like you smell like pee and shit!!! hahahaahahahah killer clown coming for you bitch he is coming for you….see u in hell, have a great day..

      • John Niger (pronounced nye jer)

        Whites don’t claim to be mixed with other shit unless they are. That’s the difference you foul mouthed fool. News flash: just as many racist blacks as whites. Truth.

  5. anonymous bw/mystery writer

    OOOpppps! Laughs!!! Right, it ain’t okay to just be black!Most black people are mixed with Native American and White Blood(they truly ARE), which is precisely why I see nothing special about it! I find this funny too because most of these people don’t be looking that mixed! The mochahontas thing got me too! Some of these folks may as well stop priviledging mixed blood though since nobody rushes to claim black people!

  6. Ummm i am mixed with cuban and I hate when people say They are mixed with indian but i especially hate when people tell me my father isnt spanish

    • “i especially hate when people tell me my father isnt spanish”

      Maybe because he isn’t? Didn’t you say you’re mixed with Cuban? Cuban people aren’t “Spanish”. The Spanish are from Spain, and they are White.

  7. I’m part Cherokee (It’s actually been proven, and I’ve had relatives born on a reservation), but my hair is terrible.

    I rarely tell people, because they probably won’t believe me.

  8. The guy with the tear is from an ad campaign from a long time ago.

    He cried when someone littered. I assume the ads point was to say ‘You’re making the natives cry with your lack of respect for the land’.

    What they didn’t figure, is that most people don’t care. Looking at the state that humans have left Earth in, they still don’t care.

  9. Hey Nonya-my father’s Cuban too. i consider myself Black anyway, since when does being mixed not make you Black anyway? we’re all mixed with something.

  10. aww shut up dummies

  11. i hate that shit 2 they could all look like wesley snipes and they say the same shit b proud of what u r im half asian and black but i dont stess it ….if asked what i am i say black

  12. WOOOOOOOOOORD
    black people lack pride as a community. we want “good” hair, and we wanna be “lightskinned” and be “part [insert race]”
    its disgusting.
    everyone in america whos had generations upon generations of ancestors here are mixed with SOMEthing. white or black. but either way, we are still just white…and black.
    im eritrean (african-black) and some (very very few) eritreans have a little bit of italian in them, because we were colonized by italy. and all these dumbasses go around boasting about how theyre 1/8 italian or whatever, and its like BITCH, ITALIANS AINT SHIT. im 100% black, 100% eritrean and i’ll be damned if i felt important claiming some other shit.

  13. Why is it always Cherokee? How come no one claims to be part Sioux or Seminole?

  14. SassyClassyMyriam

    LMAO
    I find it hilarious that so many ghetto balck people find that it is their duty to anounce that they are part Cherokee ,they sound so ignorant .

    What is the big deal !

  15. I’m surprised no one’s mentioned Choctaw indian…

  16. LOL, it’s’ because they don’t know anything about First Nations (Native American) people… I bet you they can’t tell you anything about Turtle Island or even the history of Thanksgiving Day.

  17. It’s bad with whites, too. “I’M 1/16 GERMAN AND 1/6 ITALIAN AND 1/2 RUSSIAN AND 1/3 PORTUGUESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  18. Sorry the writing on this blog isn’t nearly as good as “stuff white people like.” Asking what you are mixed with usually starts a fight, “I’m BLACK mothafo.” It would have been funnier if this was “claiming to be part Indian.” That covers Choctaw, Mardi Gras Indians and the occasional West Indian! It really has less do with desiring mixedness than finding some explanation other than being tainted with white massa blood. Close but no cigar.

  19. Nonya: you obviously have no idea who your father is…

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