#21: Sunflower seeds

pollyseeds
People from many walks of life like sunflower seeds (also known as “polly seeds,” the reason of which probably lost on anyone you ask), but ghetto people in particular make the most curious case study.  Quite tasty with their roasted flavor, you would think one would prefer to buy and inhale the already dehulled packs of sunflower nuts and cut out the middleman.  Yet the in-shell seeds are by far the most popular in the ghetto, which they show quite adept skill at cracking in their mouths as they eat.  Ever wonder why?

Apparently there’s something about spitting the shells all over the place and making a huge, wet, nasty smelling mess, at school (especially a favorite with the fast and sassy middle school set), on the bus, movie theater, wherever thee f*ck they feel like eating them at, while cursing like sailors in banal and boisterous conversations with their little friends. Perfect display of the average ghetto person’s “I don’t give a f*ck” attitude. Leave sunflower seed shells scattered on any random floor and force someone else to sweep up after you as you simply take off and go about your business. As the Legion of Doom song went in the WWF, what a rush!pollyseeds1

But karma is a mean mother.  Since ghetto people consume so many of these extremely salty sunflower seeds over their lifetime, eventually the pharmacy gets its man in the form of all these folks that need high blood pressure medicine for the rest of their lives.  It’s probably why they also sell a lot of this great American snack, right next to the pork skins and Funyons: it’s a capital investment.

And oh yeah, they’re available in BBQ flavor too, which only the ghetto could appreciate.

16 responses to “#21: Sunflower seeds

  1. Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!

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  2. Tad, your working boy

    Rite on! Sho’ you rite!

  3. haha, i see ghetto people eat those all the time, usually quite disgusting when they do peel them with their mouths. You’re forgetting to add something else, throwing trash on the ground, especially when there’s a trash can right next to them. that’s one of the ingredients of a ghetto.
    does ironing jeans count?

    • at least blacks dont wear high waters
      and ugly ass shirts
      we’ve got a black president now. im a white dude and i luv black people so y dont you go fuck off i dont care if your raceist are not, go to hell bitch

      • Whatever you say, Josh, Lisa, Destiny, whatever you wanna call yourself next…

        And you must have never been to the club if you can believe Black folks don’t wear ugly gear (bedazzled shirts, anyone?)

  4. This blog is hella funny.

  5. That’s so Trailer Park….

  6. Well I eat these seeds and they help me with my nerves sometimes…btw I think ur column personally is a soft form of
    racism…idt that we as black people( and I know whoever created this site is black because obviously it takes one to know one), should criticize one another because we already receive enough critism from other cultures…

    • You honestly think we shouldn’t be able to laugh about our shared experiences or be critical of ourselves? How the hell will we ever take our community to another level if people like yourself try to shame folks into not speaking their minds, as if Black minds need to all have one singular focus? Sorry, love, I’ll never clap to that and you shouldn’t either.

      And I know self-hate when I see it. If you think these writings are self-hate, you should take a better look at the hood. Real spit.

      • Your a five star Uncle Tom coon for this website, then your coward ass says ghetto instead of black….be a man bitch boy and say black people……honestly I think your a white foot porch monkey that is a fuckin sell out and your setting blacks back 100’s of years…who would make a website about all the negative shit in a culture. Then When someone checks you on it, you bitch out and make up some bullshit ass excuse on how it’s a benefit to our community…..somebody should take you outback and castrate you, tar and feather you, and then hang you for treason …… You fucking nigga spook

  7. Ohhhhhhhhh!!!! I hate sunflower seeds for this very reason!!! I find them in desks, on the floor, everywhere!

    I finally started doing desk checks, and having kids empty their pockets. If I found them, I would throw them in the trash. Then, they would get pissed after I threw them out. Don’t you know some kids would actually try to go in the trash and fish them out?

    They used to say to me, “How would you feel if I threw your stuff away?” I would jsut tell em, “Don’t bring it. If you don’t bring them to class, I won’t throw them away.”

    They kept bringing them, and I kept throwing them away. After they realized that I wasn’t playin, they eventually stopped, kinda. I guess they got tired of me throwing there lil snack away.

    I have fought this battle with almost every class that i’ve had. Some parents were even upset that I threw away the SFS. YOUR KID IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EATING IN CLASS, PERIOD! WTH!

    I had to explain to the parents that I only throw them away IF I see them at their desk, that they are supposed to keep all food in their backpack. These kids had told their parents that I was going through their backpacks, pulling out the seeds and throwing them away. And the parents believed them. It was only after the parent realized that their kid was eating in class that they made the kid take responsibility for his actions.

  8. Wth this whole report is untrue instead of judging black all the time you should get a freaking life like really who has the time to do all this your a freaking joke. & not all black people have high blood pressure white people do Hispanic people do Asian people do every does so shut up your just a racist

  9. & not every black person is ghetto & not every ghetto person is black. & just because people eat sunflower seeds doesn’t make them ghetto.& not everyone who eats them curses. & BBQ flavor is not for ghetto people it’s for all people so just shut up with ur racsist self like who raised you. Your a disgrace to your parents.

  10. I can’t stand them damn seeds

    I would be sitting at a desk at school..I pull out some paper..low & behold them damn seeds are on my lap and on the floor.

  11. some blodd pressure medicines have nasty side effects so be carfeful with it.^

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  12. Trevor Zchecowski

    To the person wrote this article: I’d first like to say that I found many grammatically incorrect errors. If that doesn’t say “GHETTO” I don’t know what does! Secondly, based on this article, it shows that you are incognizant of cultural diversity and most likely a troglodyte. Not to mention the plebeians who agree with you. Lastly, before you try and write something about being ghetto make sure you know how to write so that you don’t look uneducated and ghetto yourself. Or… have someone else proofread it before you submit it. P.S. I’m a white man with a six figure income and I LOVE the hell out of sunflower seeds. Now you tell me who looks ghetto… the person who’s going to have Google some of the words I’ve written, (and I’ll bet a dime and a doughnut that you will because you can’t even spell) or the person making the six figure income.

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