#52: Obesity

groupiesThere’s one of the following in every hood. The cat who was called Baby Huey when he was a kid. Or the chick with the carrot legs known as Tiny. Or baby doll known as Muffin with the muffin top. Lemme stop, this ain’t the nicknames post.

Anyway, to get back in focus, real talk, the hood is teeming with fat bastards. Oodles of lard*sses who probably eat Oodles of Noodles…uncooked…dipped in Cheez Wiz…on a kaiser roll…with bacon…baked in! Same people that have the nerve to drink a diet soda with it like they’re doing something.

It’s a really weird rule of unalike attract, alike repel or whatever, kinda like how in planes you move the flaps up to go down and down to go up. Ghetto people who can barely afford to keep their fridge stocked somehow, someway tend not to miss too many meals because somehow food with more ingredients that’s bad for you is cheaper than food with less ingredients that’s good for you. And unlike their non-ghetto counterparts, ghetto people eat like it’s going out of style, and then park themselves in front of the tube to catch up on their stories or videos or bootleg movies or whatever.

Imbalanced lifestyles leaving the hood chock full of large and in charge ghetto people built like tanks. Water tanks. Septic tanks. Whatever tank it is, it’s a tank that doesn’t move much, because many ghetto people never met an exercise they liked. Which is how the diabetes clinics keep a good attendance…even on Christmas.

While we’re at it, ever notice also that a lot of ghetto girls that have nicknames and e-mail/Internet handles with words like “Sexy” or “Cute” in them are unequivocally fat? Can’t say they’re tryna convince themselves they’re attractive and desirable, because thirsty *ss ghetto dudes already have them convinced, gassin’ em up in Myspace comments and sh*t, having them think they can walk out the rest and to the club in their brand new kits from Torrid and Abundance with swagger enough to expect three free drinks plus appetizers. Their crew of four will dance in a circle (like they’re really beating dudes away with a stick that night) and take up the entire floor. Sloppy, morbidly obese chicks that in turn have the nerve to consider themselves “thick.”wowsers!

Ghetto people get uber-fat as if being so damn big builds character. As if it’s the best protection. Yeah, it’s great protection…from getting laid. Oh, who am I kidding, Big Bertha still finds a way to crank out a bunch of babies…all of which she can feed from one teat as they treat her spread out areola like the round table King Arthur’s knights sat around.

They often try to explain it away with excuses like having thyroid problems or being “big-bone-ded.” When usually it never occurred to them that BBQ cheese puffs since 3 years old ain’t exactly the breakfast of champions.

Sorry, NBC, ghetto people are the biggest losers of a different kind.

11 responses to “#52: Obesity

  1. haha that’s very true. I recently found your blog and i like it very much!!!!

  2. hehhe i second the commnet above. Like it too.

  3. Look at the food that is offered in ghetto areas. I lived in the projects for a while and even the stores that were within walking distance carried sad ass excuses when it came to fresh meat and vegetables.

    With low finances most of the meals were supplied by school and we all know what special brand of nutritional bullshit that is.

    I believe that alot of “ghetto” people have compulsive eating behaviors as a coping mechanism as well. In a space where weakness is seen as a homing beacon for come hither and come fuck with me you find a way to deal with negative emotions… like munching on some fried pork skin while watching the fake lives of people who seem to have it better/worse than you do.

    I’m not saying this as an excuse but as a person who has survived ghetto immersion I’m totally putting that out there.

  4. Im srry but there is no excuse to look like a damn fat fool. Pople are always complianing that it’s hard to lose weight or they don’t have no time to exercise. But people especially women have time to fuck their man, get they damn hair and nails done. More importantly they have time to go shopping and shit but always want to come up with an excuse to better their health. When their doctor tells them that they have some illness, they will find the time to exercise. It will be too late cause they ass will be dead. I do not see nothing cute with being obese. SORRY WOMEN STOP SAYING YOUR THICK. YOUR ASSES ARE FUCKING FAT ASS COWS. nasty ass hoes

  5. None of these women are attractive. I don’t understand why someone would find this attractive. It’s unhealthy and isn’t pleasing to the eye. I’m no skinny minney as I wear a size 12 in jeans, but still c’mon…

  6. Hey– beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you CANNOT argue that. Like the guy said, there is a method to this madness. If you are ignorant, how do you know or how are you supposed to know? But yea, clearly there’s plenty of people who find them sexually attractive.

  7. Dude – THIS is why ppl think you are racist: because you present observations (which is okay) but then you COMMENT on those observations with no context or background. I’m a medical student and in most westernized countries, it is the underclass that tends to be the most obese – be it Aboriginal people, Native Canadians, blacks in the US or whatevever.

    I don’t believe you’re racist but I do think you’re a cynical misanthrope.

  8. Good info, thank you. I also recommend this website
    http://weightlossmotivation.blogspot.com/
    Take a look and maybe you too may like to add this site to your favorites. I enjoy reading info from various contributors on this site and others.

  9. I’m still crying…that was really funny.

    • Ghetto people need to go away. They should all be thin from fighting and chasing baby daddies and beating their awful kids..

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