Category Archives: race

You can’t make this stuff up #7

So after this author gets thru watching NCIS: Los Angeles (don’t sleep, excellent show, I never miss an episode), I click over to the news, and oh so many stories in, they talk about these cats in New Bedford, MA, who get arrested for making a “f*ck law enforcement” type song. At first, you’d be like, what is this, ’92? But before you grow a tie-top hat and Zubaz, the thing was, they were naming names, not just any names, but those of specific police officers, their actual probation officers, so on and so forth. No DA worth his salt is gonna sit back and let that go down without f*ckin’ with somebody.

And as 2520 as these dudes come, they aren’t exactly the Icy Hot Stuntaz. They look like they get down for real. Who knew there was a 2520 hood out there that was that style of grimy? And though the song doesn’t sound mixed very well and these cats drop F-bombs like they’re going out of style, dare I say it’s overall actually pretty dope! Old girl from “It’s So Cold In The D” should take notes. They got a future with street cred attached once their violation lid is up.

UPDATE: As stated when this author first reported for you to decide, the actual vid is lawn gawn, so this is the closest you’ll get to hearing the sound (until maybe those cats or one of their boys cut an edited version…dare I say they should be heard from again with something, LOL. Somebody will sign they *ss even in these days and times):

Click here for the full story.

A testimonial from Michelle

An E-mailer had some stuff to get off her chest…

No pun intended.

Take it away, Michelle….

my experience with the ghetto type

I wanted to share a incident I sadly got in to recently.
My boyfriend and I were at the grocery store, by the butcher counter just looking at the different selections. When These two women walked by talking amongst themselves. My boyfriend over heard their conversation which he found interesting, I’ll say. They were saying that this particular grocery store “always over charges for everything!!”. He then repeated what he heard, quietly to me his exact words were “that woman just said they overcharge for everything here”…He couldn’t understand why they would be shopping in this store if they in fact did over-charge for everything (let me mention they had a cart full of items). There’s a lot of other grocery stores in our city all within minutes of each other which includes one directly across the parking lot called Price Right, the kind of store with really cheap food with out the brand names, so why not just go there? Right?
That was that. We went about our business. He didn’t say anything harmful or offensive about this woman. And he didn’t even think he said it loud enough for anyone else to hear him anyway. BUT, one of them did.
So the woman that overheard him said quite loudly to her friend “He just told his girlfriend what I said, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT, AM I NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT!” And then started the stare down. You could just feel those eyes burning a hole through you.
So, we know now that she overheard him talking about what he overheard, haha. But, not a big deal…let’s just keep shopping. As we walk by them, they wont take their eyes off of us. As if they are trying to be intimidating. Which there is no need for. But, I could already see where this was heading. We head down an isle and that is when we get followed by one of the women. She’s yelling at the top of her lungs at us (apparently because we didn’t engage her) saying “OH YOU JUST WALK BY! I’LL F*CK YOUR SH*T UP, I’LL F*CK YOUR SH*T UP”. We keep walking, there’s no point in fueling this crazy woman. She keeps it up though. My boyfriend at this point says a few things to her, such as “turn around, you’re annoying” which of course makes her have to fluff her feathers even more and says again that she’ll fuck him up, but this time drags me in to it and says “and your girlfriend wont do anything about it”. First off, because he overheard your conversation, thought it was a little silly and told me blood has to be shed? And you’re going to threaten to beat up a man, because you’re just so tough lady.
When she said that I turned around and said very calmly “You know, you’re acting really ghetto right now and this is embarrassing”. Her response “do you even know what ghetto is?!!!!” Yes, you. No need to explain, the whole store knew by now. She keeps firing off her words, hoping to set us off I’m sure.
My boyfriend and I just continue our shopping. Though I seriously just wanted to get the hell out of there already.
We check out, go to our car and load the groceries in the back. When what do you know, this woman is standing outside of the exit glaring at us. Enough already. We get in and just drive away.
About an hour later, we realize we forgot an item…so we head to a different grocery store (which is right down the street from us) to just grab the item quickly. What do you know? We run in to the same two women at this store.
Great, not this again. I had finally just calmed down. But now do I have to prepare for an attack or something?
Thankfully this encounter went better. All that was said from the loud mouth tough *ss was “see you at your next stop sweety”.

What a crazy, crazy experience. I found myself just confused. Why would someone act like that over such? What was the need? Is this a western where you have to duke it out or else?
What is there to prove? Who can get arrested faster? I mean, was I really expected to fight this woman over the words that were exchanged between herself and my boyfriend? Did she really want him to fist fight her?

Ghetto. Ghetto. Ghetto.

And here’s where I’ll mention that these women were white! And I’m throwing that in because reading a lot of the comments on your blog, I have noticed that a lot of the people commenting like to jump on you and say you’re racist and assume that you’re speaking of one race. Without taking the time to think, obviously.

Well, that is all.

Thank you for your time,

Michelle

Actually, that wasn’t all…

and just to be clear

Despite my subject on the first email stating “my experience with the ghetto type” this is not my only. In my 26 years I’ve run in to, went to school with even had friends and friends of friends as a kid that fall in to this category. But this was just over the top for me at my age. I felt like I was in high school all over again.

Well, peanut gallery…you’re welcome to weigh in.

You can’t make this stuff up #4

In the immortal words of Black Sheep’s Mista Lawnge, “Vaaaaaan Damme!”

Of course we knew Jacko’s name would be used to make mad people money (and ratings–say hi, BET!)…and of course people go mad in the process:
MJfriedchix
Because yeah, Michael Jackson not only makes people hungry on the evening dinner hunt, but in the obvious way he was out to shape his image, he really wanted his name associated with fried chicken.
PIC-0201
Hoodie Award winning fried chicken at that. And as insult to injury, they had the nerve to not even offer white meat.

The hood shows in very laughable and shameless ways that it sometimes just doesn’t get it. Vaaaaaan Damme…

Speaking of chicken…

pic-01071Sometimes the hood brings the pain in embarrassing fashion.

Kentucky had a promotion today where they were giving away a piece of their Grilled Chicken in order to jump start people paying for some. So your esteemed author figured to swing over to one after the morning business was wrapped up.

I walk in, there’s a line six deep, and I figured I was gonna need to grab a Snickers as I would be in for a long campaign. But that was the pick-up line. The order line was clear. Cool! So I order a couple of Snackers and ask for a free thigh, pay and wait, figuring things would be straightforward.

Not 60 seconds later, a line snakes in back of me ordering with the rush of someone who’s been smokin’ that water. Should be neither here nor there, one would think. You think?
pic-01081

Five minutes pass, day laborer types were taking back pieces of chicken that were exposed to the dining area, and the workers were putting them right back under the lamps! (Suspect much? They gave those same pieces out to unsuspecting folks in the drive-thru.) Suddenly this furious pack of old ladies and county broads gets worked to a rich lather…and me with my hurt back listening out for the new material.

“Why don’t they just give us the chicken?!?”
“What are y’all doing back there?”
“At another Kentucky, they would just make a box and pass it out!”

All the loudmouth foolishness you can handle in one afternoon.

One woman sees a Latino cat given three sodas and immediately assumes “Look at them, see? They givin’ they people the hook up.”

OK, cut the crap, lady. Are you seriously assuming they would pull something like so blatant? You think Latinos are incapable of ordering and paying for something? Nah, they’re just randomly dropping free Pepsis on their own kind to stick it to you. Gotta love how the racism comes out when folks get angry.

(As I write this, what’s up with Leonardo DiCaprio with a Grambling cap on his head at the Laker game? Plus, Denver whacks New Orleans 121-63. Goddamn Bizarro World in the NBA…but I digress….)

Five more minutes pass and at that point, they were about ready to break out pitch forks and torches. One twentysomething brother (see guy pointing, top pic) finally goes off, rushes the order counter, yelling “F*ck that! I want my money back! F*ck this sh*t!” I had to call him on that, just as I did the aforementioned civil rights activist.

“There’s babies in here, money. Watch your mouth.”

Of course he didn’t care. And neither did the rest of the mob, so wrapped up in needing their chicken fix that all sense of decency went by the boards.

How about going off like this at the city council meeting to get things done? Where’s this anger about the local gang making trouble or about Black-on-Black crime?

But nah, save that anger…for when goddamn chicken isn’t in your hands fast enough. Preying on people that are doing their jobs as fast as they possibly can. At a place you’ll continue to patronize at that. Not to mention being ungrateful for something that’s free and really isn’t that important in the bigger picture.

All seriousness, the hood is at once a beautiful, vibrant place and its own worst enemy.

Bet tomorrow it’ll be like that at El Pollo Loco too.

And the new product? It’s decent, nothing to write home about.

Anyways, any of you experience similar incidents?

Obama Fried Chicken?

Obama Fried ChickenFigures this is in New York City, a place where the fried chicken truly sucks. The Bangladeshi owner probably needed all the help he could get for anyone to patronize his eatery.

BTW, what is it about these shacks and selling all these vast varieties of different foods that simply shouldn’t be sold together? You see that list on the marquee? Jack of all trades and a master of none much?

#12: Being Part Cherokee by Guest Author Leosha

6a00d834515db069e200e55035d0b28834-640wiWhen a ghetto person starts dating, there is one pivotal question that will make or break their chances of finding a suitor: What you mixed with? The answer to this life altering inquiry is important to both ghetto males and females. If Marquiana emerges from the pool looking like a black flame engulfed her head, or Le’Quan cannot get curls without a box of texturizer and some Soul Glo, the relationship will go downhill. This plagues ghetto people because they do not want their kids to look like extras from Roots.  (Or Celie from The Color Purple.)

That terrifying scenario is the principal reason why ghetto people love to announce to the world that they are part Cherokee.* Even if he or she has no knowledge of their genealogy, or is simply lying, claiming that their great great grandfather was Cherokee will make them appear more datable and exotic. Ghetto people love to feel exotic. Because many people have not even seen an actual Native American before, it is the most easy race to use. The perks are infinite. Suitors will flock and potential baby’s mothers/fathers can rest assured that their future children will probably be cute with “good hair.” Even the least attractive ghetto person can come at least 2 points closer to being a 10, if they say they are part Cherokee.

Another perk that comes along with mixedness? Once the entire hood has been informed, a part Cherokee ghetto person can partake in exclusive activities such as wearing a jet black, bone straight, waist length weave, or adopting a screen name like PokAho69 or mochaHontas10. These actions are only acceptable when a ghetto person says they are part Cherokee.

Although many people really do have a tenth of Cherokee in their blood**, ghetto people will go to great lengths to assert their mixedness. These include, but are not limited to: claiming the texture of their permed/texturized hair is natural, using profuse amounts of ProStyle to achieve the “wet & wavy” look, breaking out childhood photographs and exclaiming “See how long my hair was?”, and the most popular, “My hair fell out because I swam a lot/cut it/got braids.”

Do not assume that only black ghetto people participate in this phenomenon. Numerous other ethnic groups jump onto the bandwagon to appear more exotic as well. In every ghetto, at least 75% of all non-black ghetto people will list five responses i.e. Puerto Rican, Creole, Danish, Namibian, and Martian, to prove their mixedness to potential suitors. If you would like to befriend a ghetto person, start by asking what they are mixed with. They will shine with glee because they love to tell people that they are mixed with any and everything; however, claiming to be part Cherokee is by far the most popular.***

 
*Can be interchanged with any other Native American group
**The Cherokee tribe owned African slaves, just as Europeans did.
***Puerto Rican comes in at a close second