#1: 1st of the month

08wwln190Ghetto people absolutely love the 1st of the month which is when the welfare checks come out. Welfare is a form of social assistance for those unable or choosing not to work. Basically it’s free money for people who realize government cheese is preferable to gainful employment. The 1st of the month is a national holiday celebrated in every ghetto and trailer park around America. The little children wait anxiously for the mail man because they know that when that check comes they can get some extra money to buy purple drink and flaming hot Cheetos. During this time of month you will also notice that business is booming at the Korean hair stores and nail salons.

The 1st of the month can too be a very interesting anthropological study of the mannerisms of ghetto people. During this time of the month ghetto people are quite jovial and can be found in droves at the swap meet getting the latest gear or celebrating their temporarily income at neighborhood cook outs where you will find one if not all of the following items: fried foods, alcohol (preferably 40s and Bud Light), the stench of weed, red Kool-Aid, and bones (dominoes). At these celebrations, stereo systems from old Cadillacs are blasting through the neighborhood while the adults encourage little Ray-Ray and Rasputia to do the booty dance because they think it’s cute. Towards the end of the night either someone gets drunk and reveals that Porsha screwed Leroy who is her cousin who happens to be married to her sister or the rival gang shows up and starts some mess because a guest at the party is wearing the wrong colors.

Unfortunately around the 16th of the month, melancholy starts to set in because all money is gone and the EBT card balance is approaching zero. Weaves start to look crusty, acrylic nails become chipped, and the heels of many women resemble granite rock. Kids are subjected to more ass whoopings because the Madea’s patience is running low as she tries to figure out how to supplement her income until the 1st of the month. However the cycle starts anew as the 17th turns into the 23rd, then finally the last day of the month is here before a blink of an eye. Finally the mail man arrives around the first, holding in his hands the key to ghetto people’s happiness.

82 responses to “#1: 1st of the month

  1. creolerose1115

    Hee!! Embarrassingly enough, most of my high school friends now celebrate this “holiday” with disturbing regularity….this is hysterically funny and painfully accurate!

  2. How long until this blog gets shut down?

    Double standards are fun!

  3. Ghetto blog...

    This isn’t nearly as well-written as SWPL. Make friends with an English major, and get them to edit this.

    • John Niger (pronounced nye jer)

      Actually it’s what funnier that swpl. You don’t think so because you’re black and assume that it’s about black people. He talks about whites as well. White people can be ghetto. But as per usual you blacks blame whitey which is why no matter how many black presidents we have(and I voted for him) things will NEVER change. Unfortunately the intelligent classy blacks you see on TV and movies are a rarity in the real world. Must be because of this blog.

  4. I hate the Ghetto mindset.

    I own a fairly large business and go to the bank almost daily, many times I to more than one. I always forget to notice when it is the first of the month, then all of a sudden it is 30 min at the bank instead of 3. So lame…..

    These people are sheep….sheeple 🙂

    Jason Dragon

  5. hi, i find this blog offensive. nuf sed.

  6. Veron,

    I’m sorry that you find this blog offensive. However you do have a choice in which blogs you choose to read. Good luck!

  7. just stating the obvious
    be more creative

  8. Look at how you attract racist fucks like Jason Dragon. Now his white-supremacist fantasy is complete.

  9. Jason Dragon was probably a racist without the help of my blog.

    • I’d bed probably so too. Just like gays get the bad rap for f’in up straight peoples marraiges…they do that good enough themselves!

      • “I’d BET…” excuse my one-handed hot mess typing skills. I was too busy messin’ with some woman’s fine red-boned husband tryin’ to holla at me at the mens-fa-mens chat on Craigslist.

      • Kidding about that last comment. But seriously ladies, you might think about keepin’ a tighter reign on the fellas. Just take a little peek at your local Craigslist “m4m” postings and see if you recognize any of the penis in those pics…and read the accompanying text while you’re at it. Many of them are married, I’m just sayin’…

  10. jason dragon is wack

  11. Why are Black people so concerned about how White people view us. We need to take a closer look at ourselves. This is not the first blog that I’ve seen white people get a kick out of the ghetto mess we have. Ignorant people come in all races, colors and creeds. So we need to focus on US and NOT what others see in us.

  12. By the way, I also try my hardest to avoid the bank and the grocery store around the 1st and the 15th. Just keepin it real. Do I hate my people? Absolutely not!

  13. you are the most racisit son of a bitch I know fuckn wake up and reality is set in you all and yes i said you all have nothing better to do then dipick another race fuckn look at yours every one’s not ghetto so fuckn find rednecks or white trash, if you get on one get on all dum bitches from someone who have more sense and money then you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. ok, I’m white but I thought it was pretty funny!

    sorry african american people..

  15. wasnt this written from the girl on that show flavor flave? hi wow your famous!

  16. This is funny but it borders racist, with all the minorities in the picture. And it’s classist.

  17. It has nothing to do with race. It has to do with mindset. There are millions of white ghetto people also. There are also many successful people of all colors, and I am good friends with many of them. Many of my friends are not white, even my wife is not white.

    Where I live ghetto has nothing to do with race, only economics.

    • “Some of my best friends are Black!”

    • While this is true. Don’t forget that WHITE people put most of us in the mindset in the first place. And Don’t play the there are 1 million white ghetto people card. Yes there are successful black people but lets not kid our self here. Its still way harder for a black male as opposed to a white male in this country. There’s still racism. I’m a black male doing right. I don’t collect no check but the one that I work for. Until you are black, which you will never be please do us a favor and stfu.

  18. Jason Dragon, I agree.

  19. to Reality- Who ever said ALL ghetto people where black? Maybe just Maybe you might be the racist here for implying such.

  20. lol shut the fuck up man

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