#20: Bootlegs (and other illegitimate goods)

  2823896-fake_handbags_street_sellers-venice You hear it by every liquor store, every check cashing place, every chicken-and-chinese stand.

“Got them CDs, got them DVDs.”

The bootleg man got you when no one else does.  Need that new Makaveli? It’s on deck.  A fresh replacement copy of Soul Plane?  It’s on deck.  If it’s directed by Tyler Perry, starring Cube, or featuring T.I. or Cassie on the soundtrack, it’s on deck with the bootleg man.

Or there’s that other guy with the Econoline doors propped open….

“I got that Ed Hardy, that True Religion, that Prada…”

Don’t forget that crackhead who is a better salesman of furniture than anyone who ever worked for Levitz or Wickes.  He also got those registration tags for your whip.

It’s a bazaar every single day in the hood.  Whatever you want, for a limited time only, it’s yours if you think the price is right.

The guys that have all this fraudulent crap wouldn’t put in the work if it wasn’t so lucrative.  Wouldn’t take the time to get that illicit editor’s copy, or sneak the video camera into the advanced screening, or buy in bulk from that warehouse…or ransack your neighbor’s property!  Because somebody in the hood will take a flier on it.  (And contribute to hood squalor in the process…but we know that don’t matter!)


Suckers and others line up to make sure they got the latest flick they ain’t tryna see in the theatre (more often than not a Black one) supporting piracy, and taking dollars away from the entertainers they obviously love enough to buy something featuring them in it, missing material and crappy sound and/or picture be damned.  And we all know it’s the pits not being dipped, so ghetto corner-cutters would rather cut to the corner to have what they need to floss like a boss at the club on Friday (and drink real drinks, go figure) instead of recycling Black dollars a better way by supporting the store down the block that really needs the customers.  

Keep this in mind when the “For Lease” sign goes up a week after the one that reads “Going Out Of Business.”  Or your favorite entertainer is no longer a bankable star.  Could have gone the extra mile and waited just a little bit longer for that legit product.  But ghetto people don’t often worry about legit.  No. They care about being up on the latest for as low a price as possible.  Remember this when you see a fairly crispy pair of late-model Jordans on someone’s feet in colors you don’t remember Nike making, or the Lex on D’s you know damn well Pooky can’t afford.  When they say they got the hookup, look for the fingers crossed behind their back!  Or look for the smoker they got that deal on the Rolex from (then you’ll know who to blame for the receiving stolen property charges).

9 responses to “#20: Bootlegs (and other illegitimate goods)

  1. thats hella funny! cuz all mah movies is bootleg . thats tha way to go

  2. Pssssh niggas…

  3. There have been plenty whites try and sell me something that they have took from someone!!!!! YOu really need to get a life because everything you are talking about is probably about you!!!!! You know most of the time when someone is downing the next person they are really talking about themselves and just don’t have anybody to turn to or help…… YOU LONELY WHITE BASTARD

  4. i love how offended people get when they read these. from East Cleveland myself, and almost EVERY one of the things he’s written about is absolutely true, and i bring it up to my dudes, and they all laugh cause they know it to, they black btw…face it lol…

  5. What about Asians ? I do happen to be Chinese as a matter of fact.

  6. ShannelHalfzGhetto

    I watch it online no money to pay

  7. ShannelHalfzGhetto

    All the real and fake stuff is made in china so what problem!!!

  8. very true, but its not surprising its like that in many places with weak law enforcement, a cash based economy and lower income residents. For example, in developing countries that is the norm EVERYWHERE not just in the ghetto.

  9. this entry is way too preachy and not funny like the previous ones

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