People from many walks of life like sunflower seeds (also known as “polly seeds,” the reason of which probably lost on anyone you ask), but ghetto people in particular make the most curious case study. Quite tasty with their roasted flavor, you would think one would prefer to buy and inhale the already dehulled packs of sunflower nuts and cut out the middleman. Yet the in-shell seeds are by far the most popular in the ghetto, which they show quite adept skill at cracking in their mouths as they eat. Ever wonder why?
Apparently there’s something about spitting the shells all over the place and making a huge, wet, nasty smelling mess, at school (especially a favorite with the fast and sassy middle school set), on the bus, movie theater, wherever thee f*ck they feel like eating them at, while cursing like sailors in banal and boisterous conversations with their little friends. Perfect display of the average ghetto person’s “I don’t give a f*ck” attitude. Leave sunflower seed shells scattered on any random floor and force someone else to sweep up after you as you simply take off and go about your business. As the Legion of Doom song went in the WWF, what a rush!
But karma is a mean mother. Since ghetto people consume so many of these extremely salty sunflower seeds over their lifetime, eventually the pharmacy gets its man in the form of all these folks that need high blood pressure medicine for the rest of their lives. It’s probably why they also sell a lot of this great American snack, right next to the pork skins and Funyons: it’s a capital investment.