#26: Jesus

jesus_fingerYou need Jesus.

According to the average ghetto person, we all need Jesus.

Ghetto people LOVE to evoke Jesus.

If a ghetto person graduates, eats food, gets some skins, their team wins a title, just bought a new car, finds out he’s not the father, and so on and so on and so on…they’re thanking Jesus as if they just grew a Rams jersey and quantum leaped into Kurt Warner’s body.

All the good in a ghetto person’s life wasn’t just how things happened to shake out, wasn’t even by their own design. Nope, Jesus had something to do with it…he pulled the trigger on it, goddammit, and there’s no point in arguing with one who’s convinced, because they’ll likely cut you! They ride for Jesus like Crips, Bloods, Folks, and Peoples ride for the set.

That’s what’s up. It’s like riding for the local gang because it’s the safe bet. It’s traditionnnnnn….TRADITION! The whole block goes to the same church. Mama and Grandma raise the babies with guns to their head in their house of the Lawd to make dead sure that to Jesus goes the glory (but all things bad are their own fault, go figure). The offspring play along lest they end up “on punishment” (the hood term for “grounded”), beat with Hot Wheels tracks, or kicked out of the house. And once they come into their own, they generally embrace Jesus, due in no small part to such immersion.

Never mind that a lot of Christian teachings aren’t even really adhered to (“What do you mean don’t eat pork?!? I ain’t Moooooze-lum!”). Never mind that most aren’t that religious in daily life and only go to the “good Christian” card when it’s convenient (e.g. the one who pays the bills is in the hospital, or the jury is deliberating the verdict). Jesus is their homeboy when it’s time for him to be…and he’s not here to defend himelf, so they get away with using his name in vain.

This was written on a Sunday, the day after many church goers just finished a good six days of sin, capped by a wild night at the bar, rent money spent on drinks, glittery tiddys* out, and the whole shot.

Disclaimer: Not written to take a position on religion…gotta disclaim this lest this author incur of the wrath of the likes of this guy:

*spelling on purpose

14 responses to “#26: Jesus

  1. Pingback: #16: Tupac by Guest Blogger Mr. Focus « Stuff Ghetto People Like

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  3. The ghetto interpretation of Christianity is akin to voodoo worship of a chicken god. Non-ghetto peoples speak of emulating Jesus and having Jesus in their heart. Ghetto people think of Jesus as a spook in the sky that will zap them if they don’t go to see the Rev once a week.

  4. This blog or whatever is pretty ignorant, the people who write this clearly know nothing about Christianity or the ghetto. Maybe take a class on world religions so you can realize the difference between a Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim. Nobody has the right to bash people’s races, religions, or styles.

  5. Pingback: #46: Not caring for professional help « Stuff Ghetto People Like

  6. Pingback: #47: Proud ignorance of the world at large « Stuff Ghetto People Like

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  8. Hahaha…you said whipped with a hotwheel track. I live in an upscale white community in the south. (Bham) Most of the people I know are not racist. (so much for the stereotype) What is funny…my grandma kept used grease, loved some Jesus, we like our watermellow and BBQ, drive SUVs, eat fried chicken, and yes I have been whipped with a hotwheel track…but if you saw me on your street you would call me a cracker. I’m not haten…just makin a statement. It don’t bother me though…I enjoy being around all types of people. I appreciate what makes us the same and what make us different. If we took a better look around we would notice that the people who benefit the most from keeping us divided is the people in power.

  9. invoke

  10. Whaty did God mean

    I liked this blog so much just from one minute of reading it that I book marked it

  11. Whaty did God mean

    one more thing, Jesus is a ‘Negro’ black , He was of your people, and of course Son of God too. that white man in the pic isn’t Him.

  12. Hannah is hella stupid.
    We have the right to bash christianity, judaism, islam, whatever religion. I’m not saying we should (I personally don’t like it, esp ’cause I have family who is christian), but we have the right. It’s called freedom of speech, bitch! If you don’t like it, go move to israel or saudi arabia (where bashing jews or muslims, respectivley, can land you in jail (or worse)).

  13. you show ignorance of Christianity by stating that pork is forbidden. that is Jewish law, which Jesus abolished.

  14. Pingback: Gambling. | figureskaterwod

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