Category Archives: the Internet

#58: Twitter

Those of you who actually get down on Twitter shouldn’t even be surprised that it’s going on this list. Ghetto people love to tweet. And you can look in every single trending topic…it’s gonna be a majority percentage of ghetto people posting to it. Swearing they know what the hell they’re talking about. When usually it’s just some silly street sh*t they heard a few of their little friends say based on the latest rap song, then they run and tweet that like it’s the gospel.

And of course, just like any social media that falls into ghetto hands, there’s tons of sluts in the building too, with avatars of cleavage or the booty in nothing but panties, who for some odd reason have the nerve to post those little inspirational tweets. Shut the entire hell up, you ain’t no guru…ain’t you like 19? So many under-dressed broads who claim how Christian they are (as if that stands anyone on their ears) populate Twitter, it’s like you’re on BlackPlanet: The Next Generation.

Though they are fun to toy with on the Formspring app…but I digress.

Anyway, you can read these tweets and tell what really matters to ghetto people. One huge obsession is CHEATING. It’s a sign if the times really, because this world is fascinated with cheating, and ghetto people are no exception. So many of the ghetto population are products of misdirected lovin’, it’s only natural.

Not to mention one can look at the “following” versus “followers” of many ghetto Tweet-fiends and the high school tendencies that only a ghetto person can appreciate become clear, like the narcissism and begging for attention, the e-thuggery, the yappin’ all day about nothing…

But one has to admit, ghetto people are the spice of Twitter. Because otherwise one would be left with tweets about the Jonas Brothers or someone tryna plug their penis pump website or something.

BTW, you should follow us too!

#53: BlackPlanet

It has to suck to be BlackPlanet. Yes, even after Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, and such, it still exists. For one, it doesn’t even get the credit it deserves from mainstream culture of predating the aforementioned by at least three years in the social networking game (even its Wikipedia page gets no love). Secondly, it has the sterling reputation of having been turned out by ghetto people.

And I do mean ghetto people of all races, so now that we have that out the way…

At first, it was as innocent as any other social networking site’s humble beginnings. A few people in the know did their thing on there, met new people, introduced their local crew or school friends or their peeps from other online communities to play along. Kept nice and quaint, folks got to exchange ideas and it was never a bad day.

Then the ghetto people got their hands on it and it evolved. Into some other sh*t. Females of all ages began letting it all hang out. Thirsty macks who never used a computer before suddenly started aggressively hollerin’. A billion and one accounts sprung up for the sole purpose of showing off all of “BP’s_Dymes.” This evolved into the what this author knows as “the BlackPlanet effect.”

The BlackPlanet effect is a muthaf*cka. You see it on all kinds of sites now, social networking and otherwise, but this generally began on BlackPlanet. Bad web design habits (e.g. way too much computer-crashing crap on one page). Obnoxious songs posted up. Gassed up ghetto girls who think they’re professional models. And worst of all, BlackPlanet is basically known as the place to specifically look for someone ready to f*ck, so you always see women posting up bitter sh*t like the following:

“HI, BEFORE I GET STARTED, KNOW UP FRONT I DON’T DO MARRIED MEN, I AIN’T INTERESTED IN NO THREESOME BECAUSE I ALREADY HAD ONE WHEN I WAS 15, I DON’T WANT A MAN WITH KIDS (THOUGH I HAVE TWO OF MY OWN BY TWO BABY DADDIES), AND I AIN’T MESSIN WITH NO BROKE N*GGAZ BECAUSE I AM SOME-BODY AT MY TELEMARKETING JOB, SO KEEP IT PUSHIN’! LESBIANS NEED TO FALL BACK TOO, BECAUSE I AM STRICKLY D*CKLY! PRAISE GOD FOR I AM A SAVED CHRISTIAN WOMAN! NOW CHECK OUT THESE GLITTERY TIDDY PICS WITH ME AND MY GuRLZ AT THE STRIP CLUB!”

That is if you were added, since the pages of these people on any of these sites are frequently set to private as if these people are really anything special. Trust, quite a lot of them are fools’ gold..same people who still think an Internet site filled with real people out to set off real events is a video game.

Anyway, why would these burned out on life *ss people have any appeal for adding and talking to anyway? Why be on BlackPlanet at all if it’s that bad? For attention? For the appeal of dissing someone who tries to holla because it doesn’t have the repercussions of in-person rejection?

Does anyone else understand this?